- Establish a connection with new colleague, ____, ideally because he invited you to lunch at a Mexican place off the beaten track.
- Arrive late at proposed meeting place, but text ahead.
- Catch up on life. Be grateful for the common friendship you share.
- Remind yourself that _____ is no better than you are.
- Struggle to tell _____ the real story of who you are even though you try to tell him the story you suspect he wants if he's to hire you.
- A week later, connect with _____'s colleagues over another lunch in your honor he also buys.
- Arrive late on the bus, text ahead.
- Listen to _____ introduce you to his brilliant colleagues as a cartoonist who needs to get out more, so you feel foolish.
- Amaze yourself as you manage to engage in good conversation with people doing things you know very little about.
- Allow your voice to be quiet and shaky. Remind yourself that this is compassion at work.
- Be grateful later for a private moment with _____ where you can "dig deeper" into how he might find your work valuable.
- Call back in a week to close the sale as _____ tries to tell you he doesn't need your help because your work is too existential and his work is actually taking off the way it is.
- Awkwardly shift gears and offer _____ a listening ear about his personal life.
- Listen to him say it was a loving gesture, but feel the sting when he accuses you of putting him on the couch.
- Three silent weeks later, listen to the trusted friend who introduced you share the story of how he and _____ ask each other "What was that?" When referring to their shared experiences of trying to work with you professionally.
- Go home and cook dinner for your family with earplugs in so you don't have to engage.
- Lose sleep that night.
- The next day, connect with an amazing new client who reminds you of this quote:
"When someone tells me "no," it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them." -Karen E. Quinones Miller